What your favorite junk food says about your personality

What your favorite junk food says about your personalityWhat your favorite junk food says about your personalitySalty or sweet, gooey or chunky, fried or cheese-covered, everyone has a favorite guilty pleasure junk food. You know - that one delicious treat you crave after a long, hard day or you salivate over when it pops up in your Instagram feed. It may depend on your mood, the weather or the city youre in, but did you know your favorite junk food can also be indicative of your personality? Its true - your junk food preferences say more about your personality than you might think.DonutsIts the sweet ones that go for the donuts. Always friendly, donut lovers are smiling 24/7, which makes sense if theyre eating donuts Whether its the perfect glaze or delectable chocolate-covered-sprinkles, behind every donut is sugary, doughy, irresistible goodness.PopcornIf your junk food preference is a bag of popcorn, chances are you are very versatile. Youre ready to snack on popcorn while bing e-watching Netflix, driving or even just chatting with friends. It doesnt matter if its covered with butter, caramel or chocolate - youre game for anything.Popcorn is just as flexible as you are,making it the perfect junk food of choice for you.Potato ChipsA potato chip lover can always be trusted. They are a tried-and-true friend that can appreciate the classic things in life.Thats why they love a goodol bag of potato chips. They know that no matter what trendy food item may come their way, they will stay loyal to their favorite junk food. After all, potato chips are a timeless snack that nevergoes out of style. Everyone needs a potato chip lover in their life.OreosOreo enthusiasts are often in touch with their youthful side. The tasty simplicity of an Oreo cookie brings them back to the happiest of their childhood days. Just like the iconic cookie with its hard exterior and soft, creamy interior Oreo lovers can come off harsh at first glance, but beneath this faade lies a cente r of absolute (delicious) delight.NachosIf your go-to junk food of choice is nachos, youre living life on the edge. With nachos, you never know what will come with each savory bite. Beans? Guacamole? Maybe a spicy hot pepper? Your spontaneous personality leaves you ready for anything. If theres a new nachos recipe on the menu, youre game to try it. Youre all about keeping things spicy.This article was originally published on Swirled.

9 Everyday Decisions That Will Make or Break Your Career

9 Everyday Decisions That Will Make or Break Your Career9 Everyday Decisions That Will Make or Break Your CareerPerspective always clears away the fog. When we look forward, the path seems uncertain and the future unpredictable. When we look back, all the dots seem to connect.The key is to never be forced to look back and regret certain decisions- and that means standing strong in the face of challenges, adversity, and stress. (In other words, staying mentally strong.)Here are nine decisions that successful people refuse to make.1. Choosing to Give in to FearBeing brave doesnt mean you arent afraid- in fact, the opposite is true. Courage without thought or meaning is simply recklessness. Brave people arent fearless theyve simply found something that matters mora to them than fear.Say youre scared to start a business. Find a reason to do that that means more creating a better future for your family, wanting to make a real difference, or hoping for a more rewarding and fulfilling life. Once you find a greater meaning, you also find courage. See fear not as something to shrink from but as something to overcome, because thats all it is.2. Choosing the Pain of Regret Over the Pain of DisciplineThe worst words you can say are If only I had...Think of all the things youve wanted to do but never have. What did you do instead? If youre like me, you dont even remember. All that time is gone, and whatever I did instead wasnt even worth remembering.Think about something you dreamed of doing five or 10 years ago but didnt work to do- and think about how good youd be today at that thing if you had. Think about all the time you wasted and can never get back.Then, today, start pushing yourself to do what you hope to do, so, five or 10 years from now, you wont look back with regret.Sure, the work is hard. Sure, the work is painful. But its a lot less painful than thinking back on what will never be.3. Choosing to elend Say I WillA boss once gave me what I thought was an impossib le task. I said, OK. Ill try.He told me trying didnt matter- as long as I didnt quit, Id finish it. Trying didnt enter into it. Persistence was all that mattered.Often we say Ill try because that gives us an out. Our ego isnt on the line. Our identity isnt on the line. After all, were just trying.Once we say I will, our perspective changes. What previously seemed insurmountable is no longer a matter of luck or chance but of time and effort and persistence.When what you want to do really matters, dont say Ill try. Say I will, and then keep that promise to yourself.4. Choosing to Not Take Lots of Small RisksYou may never create the perfect business plan, or find the perfect partners or the perfect market or the perfect location, but you can find the perfect time to start- because that time is now.Talent, experience, and connections are important, but put your all into enough new things, and some will work.Plus, after you take enough chances, over time youll grow more skilled, more exp erienced, and more connected. And that will mean that an even greater percentage of your efforts will succeed. Take enough shots, and learn from each experience, and in time youll have all the skills, knowledge, and connections you need.Ultimately, success is a numbers game its all about taking a shot, over and over and over again. The more shots you take, the more times you will succeed. So get the power of numbers on your side and take as many shots as you can.There is no guarantee of success, but when you dont take any shots at all, youre guaranteed to always fail.5. Choosing to Not MoveFamiliarity creates comfort. But comfort is often the enemy of improvement.If you have a great opportunity and the only thing holding you back is the thought of moving, move. If you want to be closer to family or friends and the only thing holding you back is the thought of moving, move. If you want to be closer to people who think and feel and act like you, move.Youll soon find cool new places to hang out. Youll soon develop new routines. Youll soon make new friends. When the fear of moving is the only thing holding you back, move. Youll meet cool new people, do cool new things, and gain a cool new perspective on your life.Besides, Thomas Wolfe was wrong If it doesnt work out, you can go home again.6. Choosing to Not Let GoBitterness, resentment, and jealousy are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You are the only one who loses.Life is too short to resent all the people who may have hurt you. Let hard feelings go.Then spend the energy you save cherishing the people who love you.7. Choosing to Not Say Youre SorryWe all make mistakes, so we all have things we need to apologize for words, actions, omissions, failing to step up, step in, to be there when were needed.Swallow your fear- or pride- and say youre sorry. Then youll help the other person let go of her resentment or bitterness.And then you both get to make the freshest of fresh starts, sooner i nstead of later- or instead of never.8. Choosing to Not Throw Out Your Backup PlansBackup plans can help you sleep easier at night.Backup plans can also create an easy out when times get tough.You will work a lot harder and a longer if your primary plan has to work because there is no other option. Total commitment- without a safety net- will spur you to work harder than you ever imagined possible.Then, if somehow the worst does happen (although the worst is never as bad as you think), trust that you will find a way to rebound.As long as you keep working hard and keep learning from your mistakes, you always will.9. Choosing to Be Too ProudDont be too proud to admit you made a mistake. To have big dreams. To poke fun at yourself. To ask other people for help.To fail.And to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go again.Instead, take pride in the fact that no matter what might happen, you will always get up and go again.That way, you never truly lose- and your dreams can never die. More From Inc.How to Disrupt Your Day By Improving Your Habits12 Inconvenient Truths That Smart People Easily Forget 14 Things Successful People Do First Thing in the MorningPhoto of man looking at laptop courtesy of Shutterstock.

TriNet Analysis Finds Employees Working More Than 5 Additional Hours per Month

TriNet Analysis Finds Employees Working More Than 5 Additional Hours per Month TriNet Analysis Finds Employees Working More Than 5 Additional Hours per Month Compared to the 12-month period leading up to the start of the Great Recession, employees in all industries except professional services saw an increase in monthly working hours during the recession. The percentage increase ranged from 2.6 percent to 5.6 percent over the prior year. According to the report, working hours have leid returned to pre-recession levels and were 3 percent higher in 2013 than in 2007.The negative impact on productivity from overworked employees could reduce a companys ability to accomplish goals that translate to the bottom line. As a result, employers who encourage workers to take time off could get ahead of the competition by ensuring employees are at their maximum productivity and contribution to the firm.Key findings of the June 2014 TriNet SMBeat Report include Leisure time decreased overall by 1 .7 percent during the Great Recession and further decreased in 2013 by 3.4 percent compared to 2007. The information sector was impacted the most by the Great Recession, increasing working hours by 20.8 percent in 2013 compared to 2007. Working hours in the finance sector increased 2.6 percent during the Great Recession as compared to 2007. The amount of hours spent on PTO decreased by 12 percent during the Great Recession compared to 2007. The number of PTO hours taken in 2013 has further decreased, dropping 16.5 percent, or 1.03 hours, compared to 2007.

Robotic Co-Workers Do the Heavy Lifting

Robotic Co-Workers Do the Heavy Lifting Robotic Co-Workers Do the Heavy Lifting Robotic Co-Workers Do the Heavy LiftingAt BMW, robots have their human co-workers backs.The automaker is beginning human-robot collaboration at its U.S. production headquarters and its eight German factories, with an eye toward assigning robots the repetitive tasks and the heavy lifting and letting humans use their brains and save their backs.In the past, man and machine worked in separated areas at BMW, cordoned off by protective fences. But in the last five years, this setup has changed, says Harald Krger, a member of the BMW management board.Across the BMW plants, nearly 60 lightweight robots and a few heavy industrial robots now share their surroundings with humans and without protective devices that formerly separated them. To keep everyone safe, the robots run at a low speed within a defined environment and they stop immediately when their sensors detect an obstacle in their way, Krger adds.Collabor ative robots enable us to create new forms of process-layout design, Krger says.Robots that assist production workers in labor-intensive tasks will characterize the factory of the future, he adds. They have the strength and mechanical accuracy and they perfectly complement humans flexibility, intelligence, and sensitivity.The kickoff began five years ago with BMWs first lightweight robot, which took its distribution policy among the workers at its assembly line in Spartanburg, SC. Stefan Bartscher, a BMW innovation manager in Munich, Germany, developed the project along with robotics producer Universal Robot.The collaborative robots will stop working the second their sensors detect someone nearby or another obstruction. Image BMWMiss Charlotte, as the line crew calls their robot, still-mounts sound insulation to doors. Three others have since joined her. Together with human workers, they equip the insides of BMW X3 doors with sound and moisture insulation. The sealing protects the e lectronics in the door and the entire vehicle interior against moisture.Assembly line workers do their jobs first. They fix the insulation in place, by affixing a foil with an adhesive bead inside the door. They then press it into place, Bartscher says. Formerly, workers then used a manual roller to press it even more firmly to the door, a labor-intensive and repetitive task. But today, robotic arms equipped with roller heads perform the task, which requires maximum precision.Plant managers can exactly and continually measure the rolling power used to fix the insulation in place, Bartscher adds.At the BMW plant in Leipzig, Germany, lightweight robots apply adhesive to automobiles front windows. The task is particularly challenging because the viscous adhesive must be spread over the large glass surface in one go and without any fluctuation in film thickness, a task collaborative robots are up for and good at, Bartscher says.While theyre not so good at overseeing inspections, they ar e good at lifting heavy things. So humans and robots work together on that job at the BMW plant in Landshut, Germany, which makes the crankshaft housing for all BMW vehicles.BMW executives there knew that automating the quality process could protect employees who lugged the components into place for inspection and then held them into position. That lifting, lugging, and holding could be hard on the body, Krger says.Even with the automated process, skilled workers still needed to keep a watchful eye on inspections. To combine robotic automation with human brainpower and sight, automation company MRK-Systeme GmbH of Augsburg, Germany, built two identical applications in the inspection area.At the plant, an employee controls one robot via a joystick rigged to maneuver the components into position to be inspected for faults. No more lifting for employees, Krger says.But large-scale, industrial robots arent left out of the collaboration process, he notes.In the transmission installation unit at the automakers Regensburg, Germany, factory, workers lead a large robot to the screw-bonding station. First, a laser-based system guides the robot into place, then, its human guide places it with more exactness and makes minute adjustments, Krger saysThese collaborations show that, although robots dont have brains, by saving their fellow co-workers muscle strain and backache, they sure do have a heart. Jean Thilmany is an independent writer. For Further Discussion Robots that assist production workers in labor-intensive tasks will characterize the factory of the future.Harald Krger, BMW

Life, Death, and Resume Headline Examples

Life, Death, and Resume Headline Examples Job seekers and recruiters visit the profile so attempt to provide a perfect message via your headline. Indeed Resumes are visible to employers so they can allow you to know about jobs you may be interested in. Breaching the scan mode Hiring managers that are confronted with a pile of resumes truly dont read through each one of them. The creative Resume Templates are extremely helpful to produce your online CV and Resume. Writing a resume for employment in the art industry can be difficult. Filtering out resumes for mechanical engineers is simple when you start with the ones which look strange. Details of Resume Headline Examples You should make sure your resume summary statement concisely demonstrates why youre a best candidate for the particular job and business. If youve found another job that you want to take or you only want to end your present position then you have to compose a concise letter resigning from your present role and refer to your contract of employment and what your terms of employment are in regard to your notice period. In that situation, its far better tailor your resume for a mechanical engineering job to coincide with the language of the work offer. If youre a fresher and youre attempting to find an entry-level job in a reputable organisation then youve got to choose skills related resume tag lines. The Honest to Goodness Truth on Resume Headline Examples If you do decide to move forward with a resume summary statement, be sure to take care of it as your own private highlight reel. Whilst you write your summary for your resume, attempt to think of what you want them to discuss with you, and what exactly you desire an opportunity to discuss. There you own a guide on what things to write in your resume summary and the mistakes to prevent making the personal statement. You may now make your own professional resume summary examples which will certainly outshine the competition. Res ume Headline Examples - the Story One of the greatest things you can do in order to acquire your resume in fighting shape is to be sure your headline game is strong. Need to verify that your abilities and experience are current and on point. Understanding how to tailor your resume will obviously offer you an advantage. Its feasible for you to follow resume fantastic examples to get inspired, nevertheless, youve never to copy somebody elses job. As a way to write a productive healthcare resume, youre going to want the sort of guidance provided by MyPerfectResume. The best resume skills summary should present your expertise within the field. Located at the very top of your resume below your name and contact info, a headline permits a recruiter to see quickly and concisely what makes you the correct person for the job. If you have little job experience or youre just going into the work market for the very first time, the headline will provide you with an opportunity to split the qualities which will help you grow your career. Resume headlines are perfect for candidates with lots of experience. What to Expect From Resume Headline Examples? Professional resume examples following the most recent trends. Expert resume writer, fast turnaround, proven benefits. You could also see Sample Resume Objective Statements Writing a nice and professional resume summary is quite simple when you understand how to start it. The Basic Bartender Resume may also be structured in the way which best presents your abilities and experience. Nothing unethical here, youre just attempting to get ideas to create your own headline. You may use the work title in the headline to acquire attention of the reader. Ensure it is short yet effective, make certain you use the correct words based on the form of job posting and always make certain it sounds good. Theres a resume headline for everybody, like a headline for people who have a huge experience of over 10 decades, and a r esume headline for a 1-year experience. Do not automatically think that all qualifications are listedthe job listing could be simply a typical template or the listing could be dated. For instance, instead of AutoCAD, the work description mentions AutoCAD 2D konzept program. A complete selection for prospects with lots of of knowledge who desire to get an outstanding one-page resume template. Again, understand it can be to select the work application format that most communicates to the audience the way you can offer the things that they want for.

Can#8217;t Get a Full-Time Job Try a Portfolio Career Instead

Can8217t Get a Full-Time Job Try a Portfolio Career Instead Do you feel like its harder than ever to find agood, old-fashioned9-5job these days? Does it seem like the market is overrun withfreelance work, short-term gigs, temp positions, and part-time opportunities, but woefullyshort on full-time employment?You are elend imagining thingsThe job market has shifted dramatically.As companies look for ways to stay flexible and adaptable in these unpredictable times, many have cut back on traditional permanent employment opportunities. Over the last two years, the number of freelance workers hired by organizations has risen, and it looks like it will continue to rise According to research from Fieldglass, 35 percent ofof todays workforce is composed ofcontingent workers, and 95 percent of employers say they want toemploy mora contingent workers in the future.As contingent work becomes the new norm, candidates must be ready to leave behind full-time employm ent and traditional career arcs in favor ofportfolio careers that is, careers that combine several part-time, freelance, and temp opportunities.PortfolioCareers A New Form of Job SecurityA well-functioning portfolio career that combines multiple roles is the modern form of job security. When you work two or three jobs at a time, you do lose the stability of permanent employment with one company, but you gain another kind of security Your eggs are no longer in one basket. Should one company fail or one job get cut in a restructuring effort, you wont be in an immediate crisis. You still have your other roles to keep you going while you look for a replacement for the lost job.Portfolio CareersCan Provide More SatisfactionSpreading your time and talentsacross several part-time and/or freelance opportunities can actually be more engaging and fulfilling than traditional full-time work.That may not be saying much, given the historically low levels of employee engagement were seeing right now. But look at the bright side If even the full-timers are unhappy, what do you have to lose be switching to a portfolio career?Actually, the better question is probably What do you have to gain from switching to a portfolio career? The answer, according to experts, is higher levels of life satisfaction.Making a Portfolio Career Work for YouOne of the key benefits of working a portfolio career is flexibility You can often schedule your work life around your lifestyle. You are not beholden to office schedules. When negotiating your contingent roles, always pushhard for flexibility. Make sure you retain control over when and where you work. Beware of engagements that dont offer this flexibility.Another benefit of a portfolio career is variety. Rather than doing the same thing day in and day out, you can take a few different roles on at once. To ensure that you earn enough to live comfortably, you should start with a well-paying role that makes use of your core skills then, you can s upplement that role with other opportunities that lie outside of your normal skill set. For example, you could use freelance design work to make up the bulk of your income while taking on a side gig as a blogger for a graphic design company.The beauty of a portfolio career is that it can afford you security, satisfaction, and control over your work-life balance. Sure, that requires a little finessing and some smart strategizing, but the payoff is well worth it. If youre used to full-time permanent employment, the prospect of a portfolio career may sound terrifying, but trust me Once you experience the freedom and fulfillment of portfolio work, youll never want to go back to your stuff old office job again.

Interviewing Basics for Engineers, Part 1

Interviewing Basics for Engineers, Part 1 Interviewing Basics for Engineers, Part 1 Interviewing Basics for Engineers, Part 1Like many career fields, engineering is all about preparation studying the necessary skills in school, developing hands-on experience in the field as an intern, and entering the profession ready to step up and do the work each day.But for most young engineers the interview process is the major hurdle that stands between all this preparation and making career dreams a reality.Interviewing is never easy. But in technical fields such as engineering it can prove especially challenging. Hiring managers are increasingly looking for candidates to bring the expected technical skills to the table as well as a long list of other soft skills and culture-fit attributes. The field is evolving and the pressure is on candidates to prove they can keep up, learn new skills and continue to grow on the job.Theres a lot happening in engineering right now, but theres always a lot h appening, says Ron Patrick, director of talent acquisition at The MITRE Corp., a nonprofit that manages federally funded research and development centers, supports several government agencies, and hires hundreds of engineers each year. Every decade, he adds, brings new challenges along with new opportunities.Also for You Salaries for Mechanical Engineers Are UpWe reached out to hiring managers and industry experts to get their advice on how young job candidates can successfully tackle the interview process and walk away with a new job.Needs Are Always Changing In the last 10 years or so, nontechnical experience like managerial skills have become more important to hiring managers, says Anthony Fasano, an engineer-focused career coach and the founder of the Engineering Management Institute. As recently as the 1990s, engineering firms and large companies would hire for a variety of different departments, such as marketing, business development, drafting, engineering, etc. Today, budget constraints are forcing engineers to take on many of those roles. Hiring managers look for candidates who can tackle those additional responsibilities.In Part 2 of Interviewing Basics for Engineers, we look at the soft skills a changing marketplace is demanding from job candidates.Tim Sprinkle is an independent writer.

5 tips for being charming

5 tips for being charming5 tips for being charmingBeing charming. Is there a mora enviable quality? Wed hate charming people if we didnt love them so much.Ive covered how to besexyandcoolbut charming, well, thats a whole nother beast. And what a beautiful beast it is.Were going to pull together the research from many, many well,fartoo many surces and create our own little Charm School here on the interwebz.Lets start with the fruchtwein fundamental dynamic in how people evaluate one another. Its how others judge you and how you judge others. And, amazingly, we get it wrong almost every timeThe Fundamental DynamicYou know how people always say first impressions are oh-so-important? A good body ofresearchshows theyre right. And, to add to that, once those impressions are set,expertssay theyre exceedingly hard to change.And that is downright scary. Its a lot of pressure. Were afraid of lookinglike an idiot when we first meet someone new. So often we try to impress them by appearing comp etent. Or maybe weplay it cool.Looking for an inspiring way to start your day? Sign up forMorning MotivationIts our friendly Facebook robot that will send you a quick note every weekday morning to help you start strong. Sign up here by clicking Get StartedOr maybe you do both. But if youre trying to be charming, that is aterribleideaHarvard research shows 80% of our judgments about people come down towarmth and competence. And the more important quality is warmth. Well take a lovable moron over a competent jerkmore oftenthan not.Being perceived as an idiot shouldnt be your biggest fear - being seen as cold should. You want to be in the right hand column, not the left.So whats the most important thing to do when it comes to being seen as warm? Former head of the FBIs Behavioral Analysis Program,Robin Dreeke, says its as simple as smiling more.Moreover, when meeting someone new, studies show people are unlikely to judge the interaction by how interesting you are. Theyre nervous too. Like you, they are more focused on whethertheyrescrewing up.FromThe Art of ConversationResearch has found that with a serious topic or a good friend, we measure a conversations success by how enthralled we were by what the other part said. Whereas, the less familiar the other person, the more trivial the topic, the likelier we are to rate the experience by our own performance.So to be charming, think less about being impressive, more about being warm, and more about whether the other person feels liketheyreperforming well.(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling bookhere.)So we know whats important and the right attitude to take. But how should we act? And what error do we commonly make in our behavior? Well, to get this right, we need to take a lesson from Would you believe me if I said racists?Put Some Effort In, Willya?Racists often have to pretend to not be racist. And that requires work. So they put in the effort that many of us dont when interacting with others. So research shows, believe it or not,racists often make a better first impressionWe tested the hypothesis that, ironically, Blacks perceive White interaction parteners who are more racially biased more positively than less biased White partners, primarily because the former group must make more of an effort to control racial bias than the latter.If you think Im encouraging or condoning racism youre insane. Dont be racist. Butdoput in some effort when meeting others. If it can make racists come off better, imagine what it can do for you.Making an effort sounds obvious but we just dont do it. We get lazy.Research shows that couples enjoy time together more when theypretend its their first date. Why? When youre on a first date you put more effort in.Think of a gracious host at a party. Theytry. They put in effort to make you feel welcome. To get to know you. To make sure you are introduced to others, that you have a drink and are comfortable. And when you feel awkward at the party you want to cling to them. Why? They went out of their way to be nice to you. Thats charm.Research shows that how you go into a conversation often determines the result. When were socially optimistic and expect others to like us,they often do. Meanwhilemistrustcan be a self-fulfilling prophecy.So make an effort. Dont play it cool.I like to frame it in my mind as How would I act if I had wanted to meet this person for a long time and finally got the opportunity?(To learn the 4 secrets to reading body language like an expert, clickhere.)So we know the right attitude and how to behave. But were not out of the woods yet.You may find yourself in the ninth circle of Small Talk Hell where traitors to charming conversation are condemned to an eternity of making comments about the weatherWhat is the point of small talk? How do you do it well? And how do you break free from it and connect on a deeper level?Small Talk = Seeking SimilarityWhat should your goal be when makin g small talk? Ask questions to find points of similarity. Similarity is extraordinarily powerful when it comes to bonding and this is backed bymore studiesthan you would ever want to read.Best part? The similarity doesnt even have to be something deep or serious to have profound effects.FromHow To Have A Good DayLauren Rivera, a sociologist at Northwestern University, found that 74% of recruiting managers at prestigious firms reported that their most recent hire had a personality similar to mine. How did they decide they were similar? It wasnt a particularly deep assessment. One of the most important factors was having familiar leisure pursuits, such as a shared interest in sports or technology.And when you find that similarity, dont be afraid to show some enthusiasm. You dont have to hop up and down. Be calm and speak slowly but positive emotions, passion, and being excited about something are good. Isnt that who youd like to spend time with?Professor Stephen Ceci taught his class the way he had for the past 20 years, replicating nearly everything imaginable - except he started speaking with moreenthusiasm. What happened?His student ratings went up - in every single category.FromThe Tell The Little Clues That Reveal Big Truths about Who We AreAnd you want your body language to be open and comfortable. Think expanding. Body movements that go up and out are good. Anything that compresses or squeezes is bad. Heres FBI behavior expertRobin DreekeI always want to make sure that Im showing good, open, comfortable non-verbals. I just try to use high eyebrow elevations. Basically, anything going up and elevating is very open and comforting. Anything that is compressing lip compression, eyebrow compression, where youre squishing down, thats conveying stress.So you know how to handle small talk - but now how do you escape it? Nothings worse than being mired in banality. Were going to cast three powerful scientific charm spells at onceHit them with the trifecta of as incere compliment,vulnerability, and arequest for advice. This is a great combo-verstrker for deepening a bond, humanizing yourself and taking the conversation to another level.Is the person youre talking to in good shape? Then its as simple as, You look like you hit the gym a lot. Ive really let myself go over the past year. Id really appreciate any exercise tips you have.You paid them an honest compliment, you opened up about something many people might be reluctant to admit, and positioned them as an expert. Who wouldnt be flattered?(To learn the top 6 influence techniques of hostage negotiators, clickhere.)By asking for advice, you build a more trusting connection and move on to a meatier subject. And it gets them talking. You just need to focus on listening. Problem is, most of us are terrible at listening. Whats the secret to being a good listener?They Need ToKnowYoure ListeningAt some point someone has angrily asked you, Are you listening to me? And you probably responded, Of course, I am. And you probably were. So whats the problem here? You werent making itclearyou were listening.And the best way to do that is to ask good questions. If you were to say, Every morning I dream about poisoning my co-workers coffee and someone responded with, Arsenic and cyanide are old standbys but have you considered thallium? Its odorless, colorless and tasteless this would make two things clear. First, they are definitely listening to you. Second, this is not someone you want to make angry.Robin Dreekesays the best questions are open-ended, beginning with how or what. Theyre great because someone cant easily answer them with one word and they keep the conversation going.Actively showing interest in others is powerful.When people speak, the best responses are bothactive and constructive. Whats that mean?It is engaged, enthusiastic, curious and has supportive nonverbal action. Ask questions. Be excited. Ask for details. Smile. Touch. Laugh.ViaFlourish A Visionary New Und erstanding of Happiness and Well-beingYou want to let them do the bulk of the talking but you dont want this to feel like an interrogation or a therapists office. You need to talk too.Share something related, preferably emphasizing similarity yet again, and bounce the ball back with another open-ended question.Remember what the research said theyll judge the interaction by how well they feeltheydid. So donotplay the one-up game, where youre trying to top their story. Theyll feel bad and youll end up in the cold-competent quadrant. No bueno.You can accept everything they say without having toagreewith everything they say. Nod your head and dont pick fights. So none of that I was just being honest argument-inducing nonsense.To prozentanteil political communication expertFrank Luntz, Its not what you say, its what they hear.Directness is the privilege of intimacy.Dont be blunt with people you barely know and rarely be blunt with people youdoknow. Thats acting like warmth doesnt matter, and as we saw above, it matters more than anything else.(To learn a clinical psychologists 7 steps for making difficult conversations easy, clickhere.)Okay, the conversation is humming along and youre pretty darn charming. Time to hit them with the knockout punchGive Them The Thing We All WantShould we give them a big, flattering compliment and tell them theyre awesome? Nope.The fact is people dont just want to be seen positively they want to be seenas they see themselves. Whats the thing we all want? To feel understood.FromNo One Understands You and What to Do About ItPsychologists call this the desire for self-verification, and it is a profound and universal need. People become really uncomfortable when they get compliments (or criticism) they feel they genuinely dont deserve. What this means for you is that praising someone for a quality they dont believe they possess can backfire on you big-time. The best way to steer clear of this problem is to stick with truthful affirmations . In other words, affirm the abilities and accomplishments that you have direct evidence of- the ones that you know to be authentic and genuinely admire.So how do you do this? Youve been putting effort into the conversation, right? Asking good questions? Well, then its not too hard to suss out how this person sees themselves and what traits they value.If you listen to people, they will tell you who they are. And professorSam Gosling(who I think of as the academic Sherlock Holmes) says what they tell you is usually accurateIdentity claims are deliberate statements we make about our attitudes, goals, values, etcOne of the things thats really important to keep in mind about identity statements is because these are deliberate, many people assume we are being manipulative with them and were being disingenuous, but I think theres little evidence to suggest that that goes on. I think generally people really do want to be known. Theyll even do that at the expense of looking good. Theyd rath er be seen authentically then positively if it came down to that choice.So compliment them on who they tell you they are. Its not that hard. Former FBI lead international hostage negotiatorChris Vosssays its as simple as listening and paraphrasing what they say to you.And even if you get it wrong, youre still doing great. Theyll correct you. This is called getting to know them better. And the fact that youre trying to get to know them better is very, very flattering. Humbly revise your statement, paraphrasing what they told you.This is what leads to that powerful feeling of this person gets me. And nothing feels better than that.(To learn the two-word morning bung that will make you happy all day, clickhere.)Charm School students, class is dismissed. Weve learned a lot. Lets round it up and learn how to do all of this so its sincereSum UpThis is how to be charmingThe Fundamental Dynamic Warmth is more important than competence. Better to be seen as a lovable idiot than a cold, compe tent Evil Genius.Put in some effort, willya? They will judge the interaction by how they feeltheydid. So help them do good.Gracious hosts make an effort.Small talk = seek similarity And once youve found it, offer asincere compliment, show vulnerability, and ask for advice.You hate small talk? Me too. Youve done a great job of reading this so far. Sometimes I have trouble reading long blog posts. Whats your secret?They need toknowyoure listening Ask open-ended questions, be active and constructive, and contribute but dont one-up.Give them the thing we all want We all want to feel understood. Understand?Now I get to sit back and wait for the emails from friends saying, Eric, why dont you do any of this whenImtalking with you? Well, the best footballcoachesare not necessarily the best footballplayers. But I try.If youre not naturally charming (and Im usually about as charming as a brick through a plate glass window) this stuff takes some practice. Which raises an important issue if you make these changes, are you being inauthentic?Not if you have the other persons best interests in mind. When I spoke toHarvard Business School professorGautam Mukundahe saidChanging yourself is not inauthentic. Part of what people do is they change. They evolve, they can grow, and they can change themselves.So what is it to be authentic? It doesnt mean you cant change, but it does mean that the changes that you make, again, have to be aligned with the sense of who you really are, and who you want to be.In fact, research shows that when you try to be your best self, you end uppresenting your true selfIn sum, positive self-presentation facilitates more accurate impressions, indicating that putting ones best self forward helps reveal ones true self.To be charming, try to bring out the best in others. And you dont have to be inauthenticJust be the best version of who you already are.Join over 320,000 readers.Get a free weekly update via emailhere.Thisarticleoriginally appeared atBarkin g Up the Wrong Tree.

How to move your organization from fear to fearlessness

How to move your organization from fear to fearlessnessHow to move your organization from fear to fearlessnessThe fear of speaking up is pervasive unfortunately, fruchtwein people dont realize it.Silence is unelendiced, but the costs of fear shouldnt they are massive. According to Harvard professor Amy Edmondson, companies waste millions of dollars because most employees stay silent.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreSpeaking up is vital to drive progress and innovation. If you or your team stay silent, your organization loses invaluable input. People dont just hold back schwimmbad news or dissent, but ideas for improvement and growth.Holding back is natural. Silence is intuitive when we dont feel safe. Thats why most of us think twice before sharing an idea or asking a question during a meeting. We dont want to be laughed at, ridiculed, ignored, or punished we think speaking up wi ll get us into trouble.Organizations need creativity and innovation, bedrngnis silence. Without trouble,theres no change. A fearless culture encourages participation everyone shares their ideas and thoughts to move the company forward.So, how do you get abfluged?First Steps to Building Psychological SafetyFortunately, Ive seen a growing interest among companies they realize the importance of becoming fearless. But, few know where to get started. Or the challenge I face more often organizations want to build psychological safety without really changing.Overcoming fear involves revisiting leadership styles, organizational culture, and team behavior. Be ready to challenge how you think.Amy Edmonson, author ofThe Fearless Organization,describes three steps leaders can take to create psychological safety the shared belief that a team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking.Start with the leader they have to set the stage to frame the work and emphasize purpose.Inviting participation leader s must practice inquiry, humility, and set up processes.Responding productively appreciate participation and destigmatize failure.Getting buy-in from senior leaders is vital to building psychological safety across an organization. However, this shouldnt stop you. Many successful revolutions happen from the inside-out. You can create safe spaces even within a toxic culture.Im bedrngnis a fan of 22 matrices they can be deceiving or oversimplify things. However, I came up with one to organize and help my clients better understand what it takes to build aFearless Culture.In my experience, there are two key elements at play vulnerability and creativity both feed off each other.Vulnerabilityis a challenging concept. We are taught to look confident, assertive, and in control. Being vulnerable is the opposite. We must be humble to acknowledge our humanity, emotions, and flaws. Its something that everyone must embrace and practice leaders, teams, and individuals.Creativityis more than the ab ility to solve complex problems its an essential metaskillfor the 21st Century. Dealing with uncertainty and ambiguity requires adapting to a dynamic reality. Creativity helps us reframe and solve unexpected day-to-day issues.Each quadrant addresses a different challenge.Increase Self-AwarenessWe canelend lead others if we cant lead ourselves first. Knowing oneself is critical to becoming an agent of change. Most of us think we know ourselves well, butonly a few really do. It takes courage to confront with our unknown unknowns.Lead with QuestionsLead as if you are right but listen as if you are not.Intellectual humilitymakes you a better leader. In a complex, rapidly changing world, you cannot have all the answers. Asking excellent questions is more important than pretending we know it all.Invite ParticipationAuthentic conversations, not Powerpoints, drive change. People want to actively be part of the conversation, not just feel involved. Participation not only defeats silence peop le feel less resistant when they have a saying on how things should work.Fail SmartFailure is not a destination but a necessary stop in the innovation journey. Fearless cultures dont hide their mistakes. They share them openly learning and improvement matter more than egos. It also prevents others from repeating the same error.How Companies Build FearlessCulturesThis matrix has also helped me capture thedifferent practices to build Fearless Cultures what Ive learned from researching what companies are doing as well as my own practice.To keep this post short, I will share some methods and provide links for further reading. It will help you understand the overall approach. Feel free to reach out if you have questions orcheck out this workshop.A. Increase Self-AwarenessEmbracing vulnerability requires courage trust startswithin yourself.Self-awareness is much more than understanding yourself its learning to how others see us too. Increased self-awareness takes time and regular practice . The good news? You can start small.Organizational psychologist Tasha Eurichrecommendsestablishing the habit of a daily check-in most self-aware people practice it. Ask yourself these three questions at the end of each dayWhat went well today?What didnt go so well today?How can I be smarter tomorrow?Many companies, likeMedium, practice acheck-in roundat the beginning of a meeting to increase team awareness.By asking Whats got your attention? the team realizes the emotions and feelings each person is bringing to a meeting. Understanding where everyone is coming from promotes empathy and reduces useless conflicts.Heres a compilation of15 exercisesto develop self-awareness at an individual and team level.B. Lead with QuestionsLeadership needs to shift fromowning knowledgetopromoting a culture of curiosity. Questions encourage quiet people to speak up. As Edmondson said, Questions create a vacuum that serves as a voice opportunity for someone. They create a small safe zone automaticall y.Questions promote transparency. Take this one for exampleIf I leave the company, what would you like the new CEO to change?This question makes it safe to talk about what the CEO can improve. First, because she/he is sending the message that she/he wont be there forever. Second, its acknowledging that she/he is not addressing all expectations. Lastly, it drives a sense of urgency it helps uncover issues that are meaningful and critical to the team.Similarly, Steve Jobs was getting anxious that Pixar employeeswerent speaking upat the end of staff meetings. He realized he had to change the question. Do you have any feedback? wasnt encouraging people to talk.Jobs overcame silence by asking,Whats not working at PIXAR? Whats working at Pixar?The first question invited people to discuss what needed to be fixed. It came from a place of honesty and vulnerability. The second one balanced the other it helped people appreciate the positive things.C. FailSmartDo you have a mistake policy?Error s are a necessary path toward innovation. Explicit your company approach to mistakes and risk-tolerance live it and reward those who experiment.Rajan Tata, founder and chairman of Tata,created a prizefor theBest Failed Idea. He believed failure is a gold mine and wanted to spark innovation and keep his team from avoiding risks.Dont fail fast fail smart. Mistakes are lessons in disguise. Errors are not something to feel guilty about.Social Media consultancy NixonMcInnes created theChurch of Fail its not a new religion but a way of making it okay to err. This monthly ritual celebrates mistakes. Anyone can get on the pulpit to share their own and what theyve learned.Traditional brainstorm processes favor extroverts, people with positional power, those who can think quickly, or like to process ideas by speaking out loud.Overcoming fear takes time. The124-Allmethod is a way to access the inherent power and potenzial of a diverse group. Firstly, participants brainstorm by themselves, seco ndly, in duos. Thirdly, in groups of four. In the end, everyone shares their best ideas.Brainstorming progressively builds creative confidence one person at-a-time.Encouraging autonomyand distributing authority help build Psychological Safety - they are essential to develop a culture of experimentation. Listening to peoples ideas is not enough organizations must give them more space to make decisions too. Dont protect your team theres no growth without failure first.D. Invite ParticipationChange cannot be managed by a small group of executives its a shared responsibility by everyone in the organization. Participation not only drives ownership it multiplies the number of ideas and perspectives.Appreciative inquiryis a smart way to drive change through co-creation. It engages all stakeholders in self-determined change organizations are designed, maintained and transformed by conversations.Managers do not have all the answers. Increased participation drives engagement and speed. Invite and conquer let your team choose rather than being forced to support change.Listen to all the voices. Software developer Atlassian practicesconversational turn-takingto ensure even participation all team members get their turn to speak up. Managers or loud people go last to avoid influencing or silencing others.Makeparticipation optional. Sounds counterintuitive but it works. People become more committed when they feel in control. Similarly,self-selection choosing ones activities and team increases accountability and performance.The Law of Two Feetis an essential component of the Open Space Technology (OPT)approach. People can leave a meeting when they feel they are wasting their time. It makes it safe to choose ones priorities wisely.Participation is recognizing that together we create better solutions. Check outthis postto discover other methods to generate conversations that drive change.Your human talent is your most significant competitive advantage. Imagine all they can do if they werent afraid to speak up.A Fearless Culture encourages people to bring their best selves to work. Overcoming fear requires time start small and be consistent. Building vulnerability and creativity will advance your organization. Take the first step.Gustavo Razzetti is a change instigator who helps people and organizations createpositive change. He advises, writes, and speaks on team development and culture transformation. Receive hisweekly insightsor follow him onLinkedIn.This article first appeared on Medium.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people